Life, You Suck.

I really hate being made to feel guilty. I hate when someone thinks I'm making up excuses when I'm not trying to... I just suck. Okay? Life sucks. I suck. Deal with it. I don't get out enough to spend time with my friends. I wish I lived in town. I want my friends to be able to come visit me whenever they want to and vice versa. I just need a little bit of money. A nice weekend job should do it. I can handle that, right? Right? I hope so. I really want to move so that I actually have that excuse that I am too far away or whatever. Ugh. At the same time, I don't want to be far away. It's all really... frustrating, really. I give up thinking for now.

What Harry Potter means to me?

I was asked by a friend in a role-play group for her final college project  to write about what Harry Potter means to me. I wrote the following on the group wall today: 


Harry Potter, has been like Alice in Wonderland to me. It was a world to escape to. A world unlike any other, yet, very similar to our own. Fighting the evil bullies in our society, not matter their level, it was encouraging to know that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it. So many important life lessons, friendship lessons, love lessons... lessons on how to keep hope. That one scene when Dumbledore dies and everyone raises their wands to banish the dark mark always tugs at my heartstrings. That is true unity. Whether you believe in a higher power, or a common idea, or simply support the same person who lead you toward the light, there is a strong sense of brother and sisterhood. Of family. I don't really have much of a family anymore as my mother is a recovering drug addict that has gone off the edge and thinks I'm insane and my dad is an alcoholic who doesn't care about anything except the next bottle he buys. I can't speak with my own brother and the rest of my mother's family has pretty much disowned me and vice versa. I've never been close to my dad's family because my mother didn't want us to be after the divorce. Like I said, as far as blood family goes, I got nothing. So, like Harry, I've made my own family. I have a few choice close friends that I keep close. I have the love of my life with me and we plan to make a bigger family someday. Not to mention, I've become rather attached to his own family. Yes, I will read Alice in Wonderland and Harry Potter to my kids. And when they're a little older, they can watch the movies, too. 

Thoughts on the Validity of Friendships

 I keep my friends like this: If they are, in any way, what I would like to be like, I keep them. They are my motivation, my pride, my love. Once they show an ugly side, like close mindedness, or something I vow to never come into my life, we tend to grow apart, whether I like it or not. Fools will be fools. Don't let them fool you twice.  And it's the friends that you can joke around with about anything that are worth keeping forever. :)